Hi Caroline,
My fiance and I have recently been having budget issues surrounding our wedding. We are both rather simple people, but our families are trying to plan a wedding event to impress their clients, and less about our marriage. We are fine with the big production, but we would rather not pay for all of their luxury items they are adding on and their continually growing guest list. Any suggestions on a fair way, we can discuss with both families, in order to keep our wedding budget on track and still keep everyone happy?
Thanks,
Budget-overload
Hey Budget-overloaded,
No worries, you aren’t the first bride to have to deal with your budget being spent by people other than yourself! The budget is always a sensitive issue around most weddings, which is why setting a budget in the beginning is so important. Now that you’ve started the planning and all of these small (but expensive) additions are popping up, I suggest you put a stop to it sooner than later. The longer you put off your frustrations the more likely you are to have a bridal melt down closer to your wedding day.
My Three Budget Rules for a Successful Wedding Budget:
1. Everyone needs to be clear in their communication on how much they are contributing to the wedding in the beginning. It should also be made clear that just because you are offering to help pay for the wedding doesn’t mean you have influence on the final decisions.
2. If you are adamant about a certain aspect of the wedding than you are responsible for paying for it. Example: when I got married my parents were most concerned about tasty food, so they paid for that. My husbands parents loved good music and wanted the invitations to be fantastic, so they took care of these items. I wanted chair covers and an open bar all night…(you get the picture). We each had our priorities, and took the financial responsibility to cover it on the big day.
3. As the bride and groom you get final say. Of course you want your family to make suggestions and offer opinions, but in the end if they want it and you don’t – it doesn’t make it into the wedding day plans. It’s your wedding and you get final say, end of conversation!
I hope this helps give you some guidelines. I suggest sitting down as soon as possible, being open and honest in your conversation and lay down the three rules I listed out above. If they add it – they pay for it! Always remember it’s your wedding day, and it is wonderful you have such involved families, but you want to be able to remember your day as a positive reflection of both of you!
Cheers… Bubbly Bride
What are your tips for budget-overloaded brides?